a miracle i just had to share...

vain
vain
the wind and the rain
slowly etching away
the ardent disdain
of another star
almost faded
next in line to go fishing
perhaps already mildly insane

dear me
oh my
with dreams in mine eyes
and sweet muffins of smiles
for the keepers
yay sayers,
nay sayers,
and reap eaters
holding the keys
to unlock the gift
inside this
secret,
glass chest

tickle me then
with the scented caress of tomorrow
and a tale tall as the beanstalk
jack would climb up
one day

so here's my request:
i want wings
a hat
(rimmed with sparkles, of course)
a wand to paint dreams alive
tangible,
colourful
and a loving heart
where magic would reign.

...and sweets, lots, and lots of sweets.

Tonite i had my first VERY TALL order of soy chai, with a shot of espresso (wicked count dracula laugh) after a 3-month hiatus from: Lady Caffeine.

WOW.

the earth has stopped spinning since, and i've been crying, talking (mainly to myself) working, listening to Tori Amos (i KNOW!). i'm still kinda sobbing - obviously overstimulated, proudly manical and oh-so in love <3

oh yeah, it's me to the 5th power: i love everything, i want to do it all. i want to connect with every single human being out there and radiate into their soul with love:
"i am you, man!" "you are me, and i am you - we are EACHOTHER!"

even the saxophone that turned me down when i was 17.
even the narcisist that turned me down after i professed my heart in song out into his bathroom window on a brisk winter night while fairies at "church" cheered me on
(one of my personal faves)
even the rest of the "bad" decisions i've made since.
even the rest of the "bad" decisions i decided not to make since :(
even the rest of the "bad" decisions i will make since :)
even my new love-handles (soon to be expired)
even my ever-efficient will to procrastinate (lmao)
even all the secrets i've shared in blogs i'll never remember the passwords to
even the motor in my head that NEVER sleeps and wakes me up to obscure 80's songs in french.
even the angel on my shoulder that is asking me to go to bed - for god's sake!
even k (um, well...)

i am so caffeinated and SO alive...it's like i've been asleep for 3 months and woke up to these HUGE lungs! And what breaths! i've looked at james sleeping repeatedly just to remind myself of how deeply i CAN truly feel for another human being (and then i'm held back by wild horses who ask me to let the man sleep - i don't understand, still).

i am so thankful for all the beautiful souls that grace my life (constantly, on occassion and if only once) for serenity and the gift she is to my heart. for this ability to love that consumes me EVERYDAY! and for the patience it lends to the fear that just doesn't know where to go when i put it outside.

i have a big knot on my throat full of all the things i've ever wanted to say and won't sing, but i met an angel at decom that taught me a few shortcuts...

i am ready to make something happen and for once i don't CARE about all the things i SHOULD/HAVE/MUST do! YES! Even fairies get a break on Mondays !!!

Did anyone see the moon tonight? HOLY CRONE! i'll kick down and duet with her soon...

maybe i'll go to yoga, maybe i'll just go jogging regardless of how many bullet sounds there maybe in my up-and-coming neighborhood, or maybe i'll write another love letter i'll never mail...maybe i'll just continue to dream and bond with strangers i'll never meet (somedays i wonder where the meat really is) maybe i'll try to communicate with my brother telepathically and try to explain to him the science of never feeling un-whole and how 80% of it lies in trust and understanding how we're never really alone.

maybe i'll just have another cup of coffee and fly to the moon, have a nice chat about glowing and how she got so big tonight. maybe i'll have lucid dreams and wake up to all of my best wishes coming true.

I BELIEVE.

Sometimes life hands you pearls. Sometimes those pearls come in one unusual package. Sometimes that package is Weird Al Yankovich.

I am a lucky girl :)

... And to kick things off properly, here are 50 Ways to Woo Your Lover - thanks for the inspiration Mr. Gregory J.P. Godek of RD ;)

Creative
Looking for some fun ways to add romance to your relationship? Try these creative romance tips:

1. Give your lover a dozen roses -- and do it with a creative twist. Give eleven red roses and one white rose. Attach a note that reads: "In every bunch there's one who stands out -- and you are that one."
   
   
2. Fake a power outage at home. (Loosen the fuses or throw the breaker switches.) With no TV to tempt you . . . with no computer to occupy you . . . with no furnace to heat you . . . you pretty much have no choice but to get out the candles, huddle around the fireplace and be romantic!
   
   
3. Get your partner a wristwatch. Inscribe it with: "I always have time for you."
   
   
4. Attach a $100 bill to a Victoria's Secret catalog, along with a note to him saying, "You choose."
   
   
5. Identify that one pivotal event that brought the two of you together. Celebrate that event every year.
   
   
6. Practice even-day/odd-day romance: On even days it's your turn to be romantic, and on odd days it's your partner's turn.
   
   
7. Following a bubble bath you've prepared for her, wrap her in a towel that you've warmed up in the dryer.
   
   
8. Write your partner a love letter or poem on one sheet of paper. Glue it to thin cardboard, cut it up into puzzle-shaped pieces, then mail all the pieces. Or, mail one puzzle piece per day!
   
   
9. Remove all the paper strips (that say "Kisses" on them) from a couple hundred Hershey's Kisses. Fill a jewelry box with them. Wrap 'em up and present them to your partner. Write a certificate explaining that the slips are coupons redeemable for one kiss each.
   
   
10. Doesn't your partner deserve a trophy for being the "World's Best Lover"? Trophy shops have a wealth of ideas waiting for you. Just think of the romantic possibilities of plaques, medals, ribbons, nameplates, certificates and banners. And they all can be personalized, engraved, lettered or monogrammed.
    
    

Outrageous
To make a big impression, consider these outrageous romance tips:

1. Visit a karaoke bar and surprise your lover by getting up and singing "your song" to him/her.
   
   
2. Kidnap her! Blindfold her. Drive her around town until she's thoroughly lost. Then reveal your destination: Her favorite restaurant, or maybe a romantic inn.
   
   
3. Make a GIANT greeting card out of a big cardboard box, (such as the type used to pack a refrigerator).
   
   
4. Does your partner love M&M's? Fill a one-gallon glass jar with them as a gift.
   
   
5. Want to jazz up the presentation of a special meal? Buy a little hunk of dry ice from a local ice house. Put it in a bowl of water and place it on your serving tray. You'll create wondrous, billowing white clouds!
   
   
6. Call your partner from work, every-hour-on-the-hour, just to say "I love you."
   
   
7. Slow-dance at a restaurant -- when there's no music playing.
   
   
8. It's romantic -- but commonplace -- to eat dinner by candlelight. So here's a change of pace: Eat breakfast by candlelight.
   
   
9. Take your lover on a surprise two-week vacation to Paris.
   
   
10. Many couples have "His" and "Hers" matching towels, but here are some other ideas: "His" and "Hers" matching silk pajamas, motorcycles, T-shirts, overnight bags (have them packed at all times), jack-o'-lanterns at Halloween, rocking chairs, Porsches (millionaires need love, too), heart-shaped tattoos, Christmas tree ornaments, tennis rackets, beach towels.
    
    

Affordable
Short on cash but big on love? Try these affordable romance tips:

1. Spend the entire day watching romantic movies.
   
   
2. If you'd like to spend a romantic summer night making wishes on falling stars, mark the second week in August on your calendar. The earth passes through the Perseid meteor belt around August 12 every year, which usually results in spectacular meteor showers for two to three nights.
   
   
3. Buy a lottery ticket. Give it to your partner with a little note attached: "I hit the jackpot when I married you!"
   
   
4. Pick flowers for your partner from the side of the road.
   
   
5. Write a short note to your lover that's spread out over several postcards, then mail the cards one at a time. You'll build anticipation for the romantic conclusion on the final postcard. (Maybe deliver that last one in person.)
   
   
6. If you're not much of a writer, create an audio love letter. Sit down with a tape recorder and just talk to her for ten minutes. Then giftwrap it and mail it to her.
   
   
7. Don't just go out to a movie on Saturday, like always. Call your partner from work on Wednesday and formally ask for a date.
   
   
8. Call a local radio station and request a special love song to be dedicated to your partner. Make sure he or she is listening!
   
   
9. Make a custom certificate for your lover. (You can get blank certificate forms at a stationery or paper store.) Here are some suggestions: A certificate "For Putting Up With Me Over the Years," an award for "The World's Best Wife," a ribbon "For Hugs & Kisses Above and Beyond the Call of Duty."
   
   
10. Mail your partner a Rolodex card with your name and number on it. Write on it: "Your instant resource for love. Call when lonely."
    
    

Quick
If you don't have as much time as you'd like for love, try these swift but sweet romance tips:

1. Write "I love you" on the bathroom mirror with a piece of soap.
   
   
2. Place a little love note or poem under the driver's-side windshield wiper of his or her car.
   
   
3. Every once in a while, kiss her hand with a flourish. Note: The proper way to kiss a woman's hand is to lower your lips to her hand. You don't raise her hand to your lips.
   
   
4. Have "your song" playing on the stereo when your partner returns home from work.
   
   
5. When out together in public, wink at your partner from across the room.
   
   
6. On your partner's birthday, send a thank-you card to his/her mother.
   
   
7. Unplug the TV. Put a note on the screen saying, "Turn me on instead."
   
   
8. Make a toast to one another every time you hold a wineglass. Make eye contact. Take turns making the toast. Whisper it.
   
   
9. Get the whole "family of products" in the fragrance of her favorite perfume (bath powder, soaps, cremes, candles, etc.)
   
   
10. Call your partner from work for no other reason than to say, "I love you."
    
    

Classic
Looking for a tried-and-true method for declaring your love? Consider these classic romance tips:

1. Spread rose petals all over the bedroom.
   
   
2. What could be more classic than a fine gold locket with your photo inside? (Maybe a photo of the two of you.)
   
   
3. Bring home one small, unexpected gift each week.
   
   
4. Write a classic, romantic, passionate, handwritten, heartfelt love letter. Most adults haven't written a love letter since high school. (Why not? Have we lost our youthful idealism, or have we just gotten lazy?)
   
   
5. When traveling, give your partner a bouquet of roses; one rose for each day that you'll be away. Attach a note that says something like this: "These three roses represent the three days I'll be away from you. They also symbolize the love, joy, and laughter we share together."
   
   
6. Say "I love you" at least three times a day.
   
   
7. Guys: Surprise her by performing one of her chores for her. (And not something easy like carrying the groceries in from the car, but something that requires some time and effort -- like cooking all the meals over a weekend, or cleaning the entire house.)
   
   
8. Ladies: Send him a letter sealed with a kiss. (Use your reddest lipstick.)
   
   
9. Hold hands.
   
   
10. On your yearly romantic checklist, make plans for Valentine's Day -- well in advance!

Ahh yes, my shiny new tag. Voila, the peep-show!

1) In the 18th Century, I was a Courtesan driven by the desire to learn. Later on, I retired into  the country, where I became a teacher.

2) I am in love with Jeff Buckley...still.

3) When I was little, I thought I was a mermaid, and would swim very far into the sea. I also learned to hold my breath underwater for a long period of time, without fear. As I got older, I traded my fins for wings. But whenever I'm near the ocean, I can still hear the calling of my mer-sisters.

4) I am cupid's cousin.

5) When my niece Serenity was born I was the first person whose finger she held. In that moment, my life would change forever.

Monday morning finds me
in ribbons of fascination
my body tingles tired
as my mind breathes in
a light breeze of life

How easy it is to forget
the connection between a heartbeat
and the pulse of a brand new day
so eager to be seized.

In the throws of this passion
a myriad of flavors abound
salty, wild and sweet
all unanimously color my life

And I, one to cherish
the supposed calm in conclusions,
can hardly await the dawn
embracing an amorphous future
with excitement, compassion
and trust.